We all stood together in the Courtroom. A group of lawyers waiting to speak to the Judge about when our cases will be heard.
The only woman in the group, attempting to fit in with my colourful dress and shiny blonde hair. The men milled about in their dark suits and grim faces talking shop. The Judge walked in and we all came to attention. As he looked around and acknowledged us, his eyes stopped at me.
“Ms. Daniel,”
I moved closer and approached the Judge’s bench.
“Yes, Your Honour?”
He looked at me gravely and said, “Are you still practicing law? You’re pretty enough to be a Doctor’s second wife”.
Courtroom exploded with the laughs of the other lawyers. I flushed in humiliation before answering him.
“Yes, Judge, I’m still practicing and I hope I’m also a good lawyer”.
It still stings when I think back. I remember thinking, “Will I ever be taken seriously?”
Working within a male dominated industry can be intimidating and can cause you to question your own personal power. I worked at firms being the only woman lawyer for years. I could tell you stories of how I was propositioned, threatened with being fired if I didn’t have sex with my boss, and passed over for raises and promotions. But what I want to tell you is how to rise above it no matter how outnumbered you feel. Follow the next five steps to keep your confidence and thrive:
Recognise your worth
Don’t let what someone else thinks dictate your value. Your opinion is the only one that matters. Cultivate a strong sense of yourself and act on your strength.
Don’t take it personally
However you are being treated it isn’t about you. Any mistreatment of you is based on the bias and perceptions of the offenders.
Stand strong in who you are
When I first began practicing law I felt I had to be as aggressive and hostile as the men I was dealing with in negotiation and litigation. While litigation still brings out the fight in me, when I am speaking with my peers I’m grounded in being kind, having integrity, and being easy to work with.
Try not to engage in conversation that is disrespectful.
Maintain a sense of neutrality. You know who you are and you don’t need to stoop to anyone else’s level.
Forge your own success
When I was passed over for fulltime hire because, “Women don’t make good trial lawyers” I chose to go into practice for myself and have been a successful litigator for the last 23 years.
All of this isn’t to say that I haven’t had wonderful male colleagues, employees, and Court personnel. I’ve had countless great experiences in the male dominated industry of litigation. Your life and what happens to you are a direct reflection of how you think and feel about yourself.
Go out there and THRIVE.
About Leigh Daniel:
After almost 20 years of a high-flying career as a Divorce Attorney Leigh began to feel the heavy effects of divorce practice. Despite her successful practice and good reputation, she was filled with sadness. And so she began looking for ways to find happiness in the numerous books out there on “Being Happy”. One day Leigh came across an audio program “Playing the Matrix” by Mike Dooley. She was so impressed with it that she went on to his “Train the Trainer” conference in Seattle. And there, her life changed.
Leigh has written two books and co-authored another book. She have led numerous workshops with mastermind groups, spoken to high school students and corporate groups, and presented to hundred of peoples at Mike Dooley’s Infinite Possibilities Train the Trainer conferences. Most recently, she began coaching people and designing her own programs for clients, attorneys, and people who want a more positive and fulfilling life.
You can find out more about Leigh at www.projectpositivechange.com.
Source: http://www.wearethecity.com/five-ways-avoid-intimidation-male-business/
